This past month I have gotten back into sewing. I really do enjoy quilting and working on projects but sometimes the long term energy required stops me before I even start so when I saw some cute table runners on Pinterest I knew they were just up my alley!

I did one for my sister, Sheila's birthday. I got the pattern from a site called allpeoplequilt.com The pumpkins were ones she made for me years ago. I love them! They are one of my first fall decorations to come out each year.

Then I got together with my friend Ezzy and we both made this runner. Which I have really enjoyed. Runners are nice because they can be easily removed before eating and dress up a bare table in a casual way. 

Otherwise I've been varnishing treads for our stairs. Each piece of wood has to be stained 3 times to get just the right shade and then varnished 3 times as well.
This is only the first half of the treads. Do you ever have a home project that feels like it never ends?

Finally we started on the stairs. That carpet was nasty! 

We got to the landing that night only to discover there were issues with the height due to the fact that we were replacing carpet with hardwood. 

It took us the entire week but finally they're done!

Now onto painting the walls. Their time has come.

Ambition

The other day a friend of mine made a remark that caused me to think quite a bit about my life,

who I am, and how I define myself. 

Actually what she said got under my skin and irritated me quite a bit. I know she didn't mean it the way it came out and it wasn't directed at me, we were in a group setting and it was part of a discussion, but I let it affect me personally. Which in retrospect wasn't a bad thing because it's caused me to appreciate my life quite a bit and realize just how amazing it is. 

The remark was "if you are a woman with ambition, then staying at home is really difficult."

Hmmmm. (These are some of the things that went through my mind.)

So if you have no ambition than being a stay at home Mom is a breeze?

Women who chose to stay at home lack ambition?

I could go on for quite some time but that was more of the negative part of this experience- on to the positive. 

I talked to Emil and vented a bit. 

He quietly listened and wisely agreed with everything I said. 

Then I pondered.

 I thought about it throughout the day and began a mental list of  all the things I do. Things I've learned to do, things I've taught myself or have been taught by other women who also have chosen to stay at home. People I help or can be a listening ear to because my schedule is more flexible. I thought about all the field trips and volunteer hours I have contributed, both for my children and for our community. Skills I have had the time to develop to better our families life. 

I paint, I knit, I crochet and sew. I have put in tile flooring and wood flooring. Taken up carpet and helped install a transmission. I can work a chop saw and I'm handy with a level. I can veggies and plant and harvest gardens. I bake, and bake and bake. I plan meals and take them to the sick. I schedule appointments and manage the lives of 4 other people. I'm a travel agent, an accountant, a life coach, a maid, a cook, a therapist, a nurse, a mediator, a historian, a photographer and blogger. I plan summer camps and coordinate leadership. I create and invent. I exercise and sell concessions. I love and nurture. 

Some of these things come easy to me. Some I enjoy and others less so. Cleaning bathrooms isn't my favorite nor is ironing or dusting.  There are days when I get to relax and have my own mini marathon of a TV show I enjoy and then there are days when I am going from the time I wake until my head hits the bed at night. My job doesn't have office hours. I'm always on call... There are days I'd love to go to an office and get paid to work, have people tell me when I've done a good job and get bonuses.

And yet I wouldn't change my life for anything. There were years that being a stay at home Mom was very tiring and difficult but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Especially now that my children are almost grown. The time passes so quickly! Because I have been able to be at home these last 20 years I think my children's lives have been richer. I know my life has been. I've been able to develop relationships that I wouldn't have had time to if I had a full time job. For me, this has been the quality of life that has been most rewarding. I believe our relationships are one of the things that we will continue after we leave this life. That learning to love others and live well with them is one of the most basic lessons we are on this earth to accomplish. That the Savior not only came to earth to save us from our sins if we will repent and come to him, but also to show us how to live together and love those that aren't easy to love.  

This isn't what I thought my life would be like when Emil and I got married. It's better than I ever imagined it could be. It's been harder in ways I never would have thought and I've had to be stronger than I believed I was- but I've learned so much about myself and in the end, I'm proud of the life I have. I'm so thankful for people in my life that have helped me along the way and a Heavenly Father that has sustained me, forgiven me and blessed me with more than I deserve. 

Ambition is described as 

"a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work."

So I guess I do have ambition although I wouldn't have thought to describe myself that way and I do think that staying at home is really difficult at times, though not in the way my friend meant. Making a house a home is a ambitious goal. One I hope I've achieved.