I've been putting off writing this post. It's been 5 months since my last post, and so much life happens in 5 months, but that's not why I've been procrastinating. You know why. I didn't want to write about my Dad passing and I couldn't not write about it so I've just been avoiding it. I just wasn't ready to relive it yet, but I think I'm finally there.
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| 2012 |
I'm going to start where I left off in June though. Kirstin and Kyle got married and then had their ring ceremony at the beach and it was perfect. They took a couple of weeks. Drove out to CA and visited family and friends on the way and then left for Hawaii from there.
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| Laie Temple |
They had a rough start with major car issues and some illness but they had a great attitude and made it through. They've been doing well in Hawaii.
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| Kirstin in front of their home |
Kirstin got a merit scholarship for having stellar grades and Kyle has been working at BYU-H and the Polynesian Culture Center as security while he has been applying for engineering jobs.
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| They've gone native! |
Kyle's parents got to go for a visit in August and they had a great time. Kirstin and Kyle are primary teachers at church to a class of 6 year olds. We miss them very much but they are doing great and we couldn't be more proud of them both.
In June I decided I wanted to train for the Anthem Marathon in Richmond, VA. and got my running buddy, Jaime to commit with me! We started training at the end of June. Training for a marathon in the summer was not fun or easy. There were so many sweaty runs. It was ridiculous! We kept going and it was good to have a partner that I was accountable to or I would have quit so many times over. I got to 16 miles but when my Dad got sick I decided I would do the 1/2 marathon instead. I didn't have the time and energy to focus on training and I wasn't sure I'd be back in time for it anyway. My farthest training run was 16 miles! I never would have thought 2 years ago I could run that far. So I'm calling it a success and I did do the 1/2 Marathon in November and improved on my time from last year so I'm pleased. Must have been all that altitude training right?
Emil Michael bought his own car and we helped him sell the one we had bought when he was in high school. He has continued to work at the Cotton Gin and is now looking for a job in editing. Let us know if you have any leads!
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| When did my little boy grow up? They get their love of hats from me! |
Noah got a job at The Cotton Gin with Emil M. They love both the boys and have been so good to them. It was nice for Noah to have a ride to work every day too! Noah got his Drivers License in August and was on the road! He doesn't like to drive but really enjoys the freedom of going to his friends houses and the Dollar General whenever the whim hits him.
Emil had a run-in with his surfboard which involved a trip to emergency room and stitches. It was nasty and I won't gross you out with the before pictures. The Doctor did a great job and you can hardly see his scar now. It's really quite amazing. Before any of you who don't truly know Emil ask, Yes, of course he is still surfing.
I decided to start taking a couple of classes online through a program our church offers through BYU-Idaho, called Pathways. It's 2 courses a semester, all online with a weekly meeting for 2 hours every week in VA Beach. My first day was September 15th.
An hour before my first Thursday night meeting I found out my Dad had terminal pancreatic cancer. Dad had not been feeling well for a while, but although they did a ton of tests, they didn't discover the cancer until it was too late. I talked it over with Emil and we decided I would go out and stay with my parents to help with my Dad's care until he passed. I left for Utah 11 days later on the 26th.
I can't begin to express enough the gratitude I feel for Emil and the boys in supporting me so I could be with my parents. Without their love and support I couldn't have done it.
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| Mom, Dad and I |
I am so grateful for the time I had with my Dad and Mom. One of my Dad's projects for the past few years has been his life history. He kept everything! He had done his history up until 1967 and made it into a book that he gave to all of us kids but he was working on the last half of his life and when I got to Utah this then became my job. I finished it 4 days before he passed.
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| It's a little scary at times... |
I am forever grateful for the time I was able to spend reading over his accounts. My Dad didn't write much about his feelings but between the lines and over the years a pattern appeared of his great love of family, service to his fellowman and the love of his life, my Mom. As all my siblings came to see my Dad and say goodbye I was able to visit with them. My sister, Sheila came and stayed and cooked and helped tend Dad. She did all the heavy lifting and the last 2 weeks, my brother, James and his wife Laura came and helped in ways us girls couldn't. The 6 weeks I spent there are priceless to me. There were a lot of tears but there was a lot of laughter too. I am blessed to have a large family. We each have strengths and weaknesses but we pitch in, we help out and we do it together. I could not have done this without them being there. I can not imagine being in any other family than my own. I love my siblings fiercely and am so grateful for their spouses who supported us in this difficult time.
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| Running in Utah involved quite a bit of elevation |
There were so many tender mercies I experienced during this time. One of my dear friends, Ezzy was there at the airport in Vegas to pick me up when I arrived, even though it meant she would get home close to midnight. She came and she listened to my texts when things were rough and offered encouragement. We were blessed to have a hospice nurse, Leah, that knew my parents personally and went to church with them. She was amazing and available any time we needed her. She lived just a few blocks from my parents and went above and beyond in her job to help my Dad be comfortable and help Sheila, Mom and I to understand what was going on medically and how to best help my Dad. She even became my running partner while I was there. Now that's a full service hospice worker! His hospice maussue, Tammy was the only one that could get him comfortable at times and she was so gentle with him! I could go on and on.
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| Dad and Mom 2008 |
We had so many prayers and support from extended family. My parents siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles, friends. I grew closer to my Uncle Dale's daughters, Becky, Michelle and Laura. and my Aunts and Uncles as they called, texted and messaged to offer support and love and prayers. What a strength they were at this time and from family that had always been there but I was just seeing how wonderful they were now. As a result I've gotten to know my cousins and have formed a sweet friendship with them and Sharon, my Aunt Naomi's daughter and my cousin. Although she is in Germany and I in NC, we have been talking through the wonders of technology and have become fast friends.
The church was wonderful and there even before we knew what we needed. Friends at home fed my family while I was gone. Fearing, after Facebook posts by Emil, that all they were eating was french fry dinners. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, well..) When 3 of our cars were in accidents while I was gone, there was much support given to Emil and rides for Noah. (Everyone is OK)
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Sheila, Kathryn, Mom, Sumi, Frank, John, Michael, Paul, Mark, David |
I am grateful for the opportunity I had to serve my parents. Parents give so much to their children and go without for their children. This short amount of time is in no way a repayment for a lifetime of sacrifice but it felt good to be able to help them for a change and so often we don't let people do that. Help us.
When we do, all are edified. Both the giver for their service and the receiver as service is rendered. So I would encourage you, if you are going through something and someone offers to help you. Let go of your pride and sense of "I can do this myself" because even though, so often we can, by allowing others that opportunity we are enabling them to receive blessings too.
Dad passed away early on the morning of October 27th and we had the funeral November 1st.
He continues to leave such a large impact on my life.
I miss him. I'm grateful for him. I love him and I can't wait to one day see him again.
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| Dad and I 1990 |
