Just the Facts Mam!

Was that Dragnet? I'm not sure but I know it was a police show. Noah decided to be a FBI agent this Halloween. Super simple costume! Church clothes, shades, a concealed weapon and an official badge and we were done.

We invited his friend Colton Baker over and they had fun running the neighborhood.

Kirstin got sick on Wednesday night and I had to take her to the ER. I was a bit scared when she woke up sobbing and moaning at 1am with a high fever. We were in and out of the ER relatively quickly and back home by 3:45 with the diagnosis of Influenza. They didn't actually test to see if it was H1N1 but she's been pretty miserable most of the weekend. Today her fever finally came down but now she's got a nasty cough. Technically she can go back to school once she's fever free for 24 hours but I think I might try to keep her home an extra day. Last Monday they played one of their last soccer games in the rain with the temp at about 60 degrees. I think that was what pushed her over the edge. She missed the soccer tournament this past saturday. They won 2 games and lost one. I'm not sure where they placed. She was VERY sad to miss the tournament and one of the other key players was out with the flu as well. I was sad for her. She worked so hard this year playing.

Emil M. got to hand out candy all by his self since all Kirstin would have been giving out was sickness. (Don't feel too sad for her I finally let her watch Twlight Halloween night instead. After all the waiting she wasn't that impressed. She thought the acting could have been better. So did I.)

This week I moved Kai's bed to Noah's room. I had asked Noah if he would like to have it in his room so when he had sleepovers he could have an extra bed for his friends and he thought that would be cool. After that I re-arranged Kai's room. Emil suggested that we use his room for a reading room and I loved the idea.

Here's how it looks right now but eventually we may move the two large bookcases in from the playroom. I love it. I'm going to put up some of the extra pictures we have of Kai in there. It's a sunny place to sit and read or just think about Kai. I'm very happy with how it's worked out. A week ago Sunday was six months since he passed and I felt that it was time to make some changes.

On Tuesday I went through all the cards and letters we received after

the funeral and spent some time crying. It's harder for me to look back at that time then it was to live it in some ways. I'm not sure why. I think that part of it may be that I work best when I have a goal or objective. During that time there was so much that needed to get done. So many arrangements that had to be made that I stayed continually focused and that was helpful to me, but remembering it now - all that I think about is the rawness of the emotions. This I find hard. I have found it helpful to take the time, when the emotions hit, to feel them and allow myself time to mourn and cry. For me, this is best done alone. Thankfully the moment never last too terribly long and I can always have the peace of knowing that we will be with Kai again someday. This knowledge is the balm that soothes my heart.