Perspective

I'm doing a back to back blog because I want to write about some light things

and some more serious things but they just didn't fit in the same blog.

This has been a really good week for me. I would even go as far to say that I am finally starting to feel like I can breathe again. At first I thought it was all the prayers I know have been offered in our behalf but as I pondered further I realize a few other things contributed to that as well. I'm really happy to be finished with HSA. It was not something I sought out and longer than I had anticipated (2 years) and with everything that happened with Kai last year I could have pulled out gracefully but I stuck it out and I'm glad I did. I feel like I did my best, I gave it my all and that the school is better off for having had our officers in for the past two years. I feel good closure with that.

The next thing is that the year is up. I will no longer have to go through any first without Kai. I've done all the birthdays, holidays, seasons. I know we will still have melancholy days, we will always miss him but I feel that the worst is behind me. I made it through this year and I'm still standing.

I am so grateful for each and everyone of the amazing people in our lives. Especially our family. All the kind thoughts, prayers, gestures of love.

I watched Noah and Blaze playing the other day and thought "where would Noah be without Blaze. She has brought him such love and joy." And I think that of each of you. We have always had just the right person to be there for us at the exact moment we needed you. Thank you for that. Words are simply not enough but they are the best I have for now.

"Sometime in the eternities to come, we will see that our trials were calculated to cause us to turn to our Heavenly Father for strength and support. Any affliction or suffering we are called upon to bear may be directed to give us experience, refinement, and perfection."

--Delbert L. Stapley

Mama Mia!

This week we had our cooking club and we made homemade pasta. Yum!

It was a bit labor intensive but fun to eat and know how to make it.

This was my favorite part of the day however!

These are stuffed Strawberries. They were so good and easy to make.

20 whole large strawberries, washed

8 oz. cream cheese

1/4 C. confectioners sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

2/3 cup chopped pecans

Cut a thin slice from the bottom of each strawberry so the berries stand upright.

Place berries, cut side down, on a serving platter. Carefully cut the berries into 4 wedges, cutting almost to, but not through, the bottoms with a criss-cross cut. Fan wedges just slightly, taking care not to break them.

Set aside.

In a mixing bowl, beat together the cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla until combined but still stiff.

Using a teaspoon or pastry bag with decorative tip, fill the strawberries with the cream cheese mixture.

Sprinkle chopped pecans on top of the stuffed strawberries. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

You don't have to use the pastry bag, you can use a ziplock bag and just nip off the bottom corner however I tried this method and I think having the metal tip to push open the berries would have been helpful.

(Sorry for the side ways picture.I couldn't get it to straighten out in the blog.)

This week I got a few unexpected packages in the mail. My sister Sheila sent our family this amazing blue and white quilt. The pattern is called Blazing Stars. The backing is just as cool as the front as it's like a mariners star map. I love it. Sheila is a rock star! Not just for sending the quilt, even thought that alone would do it for me, she gives so much of herself to everyone. Always happy and ready with a laugh. She is such a wonderful example to me of a disciple of Christ. I'm so lucky to have her listening ear and shoulder to cry on. What would I do without my sister?

Then I got a book from my Mom. This is an awesome book I actually already had bought it myself but I must have loaned it out to someone because I couldn't find it. Now I have it again!

Sherry Dew is such a great speaker and I really like her.

Sometimes it is very hard being so far away from my family. But my Mom always finds just the right balance to let me know she's thinking about me and loves me. I can't imagine the kind of person I would be today without her influence in my life. I'm in awe of her as a Mom and wife. If you know her you probably are too.

Gardens, Grades and a Balloon Artist!

Last Week

On Monday we planted our garden. I decided to do it a little differently than last year and go with squares instead of rows. We'll see how this turns out. I thought it might be slightly easier to weed. Blaze has been busy digging next to the compost fence (shown in the right corner) to get tasty morsels. I saw her eating the last hard boiled egg from Easter when I left home this morning. Shell and all. GROSS!

On Wednesday the kids had a half day and we got to go pick up report cards and have conferences with their teachers. Kirstin had all A's even in her Honors Math and English class! Beauty and Brains. Boys you'd better watch out!

Noah had A's and B's and is progressing great. His teacher is a family friend and I was able to do our conference over the phone. (It was so nice!)

I had to talk to each of Emil M.'s teachers to schedule his exams prior to leaving for the family reunion at the end of the school year. It was actually very nice to hear them tell me what a kind person he is. His Creative Writing teacher had great things to say about him as well and informed me of some writing/scholarship contest she wanted him to enter in so we got right on that and he sent off two submissions the next day. He's taking the lead of the High School's literary magazine they put out every year and will be seeing it through to publication. It's great experience and I'm happy to see him taking some leadership roles at school.

That night was Noah's last soccer game. Spring Soccer is the shortest of all the sports seasons lasting only 5 weeks I think. (Now that's my kind of sport!!!) They ended the season undefeated and he was so proud.

On Saturday Noah's school had it's Spring Fling. Our HSA (just like PTA) was in charge of it. It was my last big event as the HSA Co-President. It turned out great and everyone had a good time. I made balloon animals all day and walked around making sure all the booths were manned and all was in order.

I found the best Youtube video on how to make the sweetest balloon bracelets for girls.

Swords for boys

and I already had a book on how to do animals but the only one I had memorized to make was the dog. This is my little pink poodle!

I had to have my crazy balloon hat because what is a balloon artist without a crazy balloon hat?

I think I might bring some balloons to the Family Reunion. The kids would love it but with so many boys I'll have to expand my artsy arsenal.

Our best booth was definitely the Pie in the Face booth. We got some of the teachers and other staff to be our targets. Here is Noah's Teacher. At least the Rediwhip was extra creamy!

Noah got his face painted and the Band Boosters came out and sold Funnel Cake. I've seen kits where you can make it at home now and I'm totally tempted, but really! Do I need that temptation living in my house? It was sooooooo good though!

I'm so glad it's done. We will have a Teacher Appreciation Luncheon in a couple of weeks but I just realized that our family will be camping that weekend and we're leaving the day before the luncheon. Thankfully Shelly, the other Co-President is going to take charge of it.

It feels good to finally be finished with that responsibility.

It's been a two year term and I made it!

How I'm Doing, Really

I thought I'd do a blog for all of you that are or have been

worried/thinking about us/praying for us.

As we approach the year mark of Kai's death there a few things I'd like to say.

Emil and I talked about it and we don't want to mark this day or do anything special to set it apart. It's a date we can't help but acknowledge but the difference in missing our little boy is no stronger on April 25th than on April 14th. Wether he is gone today or in ten years he will still be away from us. What matters to us is when we will see him again. Since we don't have it in our power to know when that will be, we will wait patiently, sometimes not so patiently, on the Lord's time.

The Easter/Spring Break time was a little hard for me as I couldn't help but recall staging the notorious Easter Bunny photos (see last years Easter blog)

as well as the beach trip I took with the kids to the beach over Spring Break last year. Kai had a blast playing in the break with a little boat we got for him and for the next couple of weeks he asked every couple of days if we could go back to the beach.

Emil hiked the same trail we had taken the family on (see Our Own Trail of Tears Blog) when he went with the scouts over the break so naturally his thoughts were turned to when we had done that with Kai. We each got trail names and Kai was such a Trooper on the hike, carrying his pack with his clothes and sleeping pad that became his trail name, Trooper.

These remembrances, though vivid are not abnormal for us. I think of Kai, literally, everyday. Sometimes more in depth and contemplative but always daily. I think it's the same for all of us.

I feel our family is moving on well. Moving on is a necessary process and I think we all understand that. By doing so it doesn't mean we forget but we accept our situation and try to continue to find happiness and beauty in our lives we are living now. Our abiding hope and comfort remains the same it has been through this entire experience, that we will see Kai again some day and the knowledge that we are sealed in the temple, never to be separated in eternity. The Lord continues to comfort us in our every need.

I want to say Thanks all of you who have tirelessly prayed on our behalf. I know it has made a difference. Thank you for your kind gestures and words. I have felt our Saviors love through you. Our blessings far outweigh our hardships. Until we meet again....

I know I should have totally done a really sweet baby picture but c'mon. He was a 6 year old boy!

Easter, Spring Break and all that Jazz

A surprise Easter flower delivery by an anonymous friend.

We have the best people in our lives.

Sorry for the long delay in posting. This week was Spring Break and I totally took it off.

Easter was a very nice day. We enjoyed conference on Saturday and Sunday morning got up and had our annual Egg Wars for breakfast.

The idea with Egg Wars is for two hard boiled eggs to crash into each other while being held by opposing challengers and see which one cracks. The uncracked egg is the winner.

This is a prime example of a non winning egg.

I usually don't participate since the rule is that you have to eat the eggs you crack and the entire point of Egg Wars is to see who's egg will last the longest without a crack. I don't like hard boiled eggs except in egg salad sandwiches and deviled eggs but I broke with tradition and competed this year and was the VICTOR SURPREME!!!!!

Me holding my winning egg. Emil Michael did eventually dethrone me but I held out the longest.

After the first conference session we went to Emil's Aunt Cora's for a big Filipino get together Sunday afternoon. (No pictures from that. I forgot my camera.)

Monday started our Spring Break. Kirstin had Alexandra over to spend the night and we went out canoeing for FHE.

Noah has started wearing a bandana just like Emil Michael. It cracks me up since every time I look at him I think of Aunt Jemima.

Emil Michael used the kayak for the most part

but when we went into the little lagoon by the clubhouse we sent Noah out to retrieve a plastic egg Emil threw in the water. He did a really good job. We need a shorter kayak paddle for the younger kids though.

The weather for the first Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was in the high 80's. (Actually too hot for this time of year.) We went to the beach on Wednesday and the water was so cold it hurt your feet to walk in it. Of course that didn't stop the kids from playing in it. They are insane! I got some great sun and was able to visit with our friends the Seals and Jacobsons. Two families from the beach. That was very nice.

I was able to go to a stake camp meeting and a YW presidency meeting as well and that was good since next week is the HSA Spring Fling and I'm a bit worried about pulling it all together.

I also cleaned my scrapbook side of my craft room.

My sewing side needs some attention though. Perhaps today.

I just don't like working in the craft room when it looks like this and it takes me a full day to really sort through it all and rearrange everything.

The pollen has been horrible this week. I had the windows open since it was so warm and this is what the playroom floor looks like. No that's not dust it's pollen. I think the index is at about 6 billion. That's after only 3 days! Doing the floors is on the agenda for today as well. I dusted last night.

Wednesday Emil and Emil Michael left for a scout hike on the AT. Kirstin left yesterday to go help belay since today they should be done hiking and will be doing some rock climbing at Ravens Roost.

This is a picture of one of the climbs at Ravens Roost from last year when we belayed for the Priest High Adventure. It's about 100 feet of rock and a good climb. Too bad it's so far away.

Tonight everyone should be back home and exhausted. Thank goodness for the Sabbath!