Changes

It's been two weeks since Kai died. We've been through such a range of emotions.  So many feelings. I've been so touched by the outpouring of love and compassion from literally everyone. I have come to know more completely of our Heavenly Father's love for us, that everything happens for a purpose and that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philipians 4:13)

Overall I feel strong most of the time. There are dark moments, yearnings for Kai that are hard to bear but these last for a short while before I am able to remember his smiling face or something cute we would do together and the moment of sorrow turns sweet. I know that this strength is in large part because of the many prayers that continue to be offered on our behalf. I also feel that certain beliefs I have always had have been gifts from my Heavenly Father to give me the strength I would need at this time. I hope that we can be of help to others looking for the peace that the gospel brings and that I can help others see death as a necessary step in our journey to eternal progression. 

I have enjoyed reading The Birth We Call Death. In it are many quotes that have spoken to me. I'll list one a post so you can ponder them at your own speed. The first is one by

 Henry Ward Beecher 

"There are many trials in life which do not seem to come from unwisdom or folly; they are silver arrows shot from the bow of God, and fixed inextricably in the quivering heart--they are meant to be borne--they were not meant, like snow or water, to melt as soon as they strike; but the moment an ill can be patiently borne it is disarmed of its poison, though not of its pain."

I've learned that we will all be touched by death at some time or another in our lives. Like many choices we make in life, how we choose to deal with that experience can help us to grow and change in ways that are good or withdraw and retard our growth sometimes even regressing it. 

The children are strong and continue to amaze me. Kirstin and Emil Michael have been strengthened by their friends and this has been a great comfort to Emil and I as parents. We have been most concerned for Noah. He and Kai spent so much time together and we felt that he would feel Kai's absence the hardest of the children. Because of that we decided to get him a dog. It was a long week of applications, vet visits and waiting but today we were able to pick up Blaze and bring her home.

She is a sweet Lab/Setter/Husky/Blue Tick mix. Very gentle and clumsy. When she sits on the tile her rear slides out from under her and she ends up laying spread eagle on the floor. Noah is enamored and I think it will be a really good fit.

We love you all and are so grateful for all you have done for us these past two weeks. Thank you for loving us and serving us so well.